TBD: Very First Entry

It all started about three years ago, 2012. I finished my last school year and entered the Art College program in The Catholic University. At that time i probably thought that it was a good idea, i don’nt really know why i chose that career, i didn’t even liked it.

It took me a long time to realize that i actually did it to because of my boyfriend. He was the best student in my school, everyone loved him, except by my classmates, they totally hated him, even my friends didn’t liked him, and i never knew why. Well now i guess that i did it to feel better with myself, i was studying what i ”liked” (college, so i could traspassed to architechture, what i really ”loved”) in the best university of the country, i had a great smart boyfriend, one of my girl bestfriends got in the same university so i saw her regularly.

I wanted to be succesful, but for the wrong reassons, not for myself, not to be happy, but for the ”what would people say”. I’ve always been that kind of girl, thinking and caring way too much of what people have to say about me. For more that i try i can’t really change it, it’s who i am, but i can hide it, i learned to. If something happen i always shut down. Even now is hard for me to understand it, to understand myself. 

Everyone thought i had the perfect life, but guess what? No one has it…

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Chef

Ramblings of a cinephile

Chef

Director: Jon Favreau; Main Cast: Jon FavreauJohn LeguizamoBobby CannavaleEmjay AnthonyScarlett JohanssonSofía Vergara;

This is a feel-good movie written and directed by Jon Favreau, mostly known for directing Iron Man, Iron Man 2 and Cowboys & Aliens. It is a comeback story about Carl (Favreau), the titular chef, who loses his job after a bad review from a critic and a melt-down gone viral on internet. Notwithstanding the fact that all the cliches are in it (unappreciated genius, workaholic, divorced with difficult relationship with his son…) the story works well because it has a nice pace, some good humor and the acting is up-to-par. Carl realises, with some help from his ex-wife Inez (Vergara), that he should go back to where he started: making cuban sandwiches on a food truck. The second act of the film is an on…

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Relationships can be tough but they’re real magic

When you are not single, life can be tough. 

You have to think about everything, hopefully you won’t  say or do something wrong. There is no book that teaches you what to do… you learn in the way, from your own mistakes, the hard way, the only way… 

You never stop learning the DO’s about relationships… Everytime that a couple fights and they don’t see an end, stay calm, everything happens for a reason, call it destiny or however you desire. But you don´t have to worry, the right person is going to show up when you have made enough mistakes to know exactly what NOT to do…

But always keep in mind that you make your own path, it is on you to make the right choices, and if you screwed up, everything can be solved.

And always remember that there is no such a manual for love, you learn from yourself in the way, that is what makes it so magical and unique… it’s made by you 🙂

The poet guest…

Wow, I haven’t write since a long time… Damn university!! You take all my free time…

Today in Literature we had a guest,  the poet Lucas Costa came to talk about his book, “Encomienda”

The book is about what he and his father did  experienced when his father was in jail… 

He is a super weird, but wise man… With an obsession for birds… Talks about very existential themes, freedom, reality, captivity, death, iron bars, cement, birds… How the publication of the poems, that are based on real-personal facts, can be liberating… That the variety of opinions can make you think ot of your comfort zone, and give you a whole new perspective… That sometimes birds can symbolize the waiting for a important moment… That putting your thoughts in words you are restricted, and letting people read it set you free…  The liberation of the mind…

 

PD: “There is no dumb questions, just dumb answers”… Lucas Costa

The Casino permission…

Why are parents so overprotective?

In my case, we are a single parent family, we are my mother and my 17 year old sister. My father left when i was three, and the last time i saw him was like 7 years ago. Of course that just problems were left.

My mother always taught us to be nice. We didn’t have a bad childhood, she always did the best for us… she still does. I could talk about everything with her, there was so much confidence.
But more than once we had troubles. when i was 15 i was only allowed to go to the grocery store, that was in the same square, and i had to go with my sister. Always at home.
When i wanted to go out, before midnight i had to be at home… i know, so cinderella.

When i started to date (at 15), she allowed me to do more things, and the curfew was extended to 1 AM.
I started a relationship, that i still have. That is the moment when everyone wants to have “THE” talk, and you know everything you need, but nobody seems to realize that your telling the truth when you say: “I Know!!”…

My boyfriend’s family invited me to Monticello (that is one of the casinos in Chile). And here start the troubles: ask my mother for permission.

Strangely she said yes, but of course there was a lot of questions: ¿Who is driving?, ¿Who is driving back?, ¿Who is going?, ¿What time will you come back?…
And then she puts her conditions on the table: you can’t drink, 4:30 AM at home at maximum.
I was kinda confused when she said “I don’t want you to drink anything”. Because the first time i have ever drinked was in my boyfriend’s prom, and it was like 2 glasses. In my prom i didn’t drink at all. And just hardly ever, one small glass if i’m on a friends meeting.
I couldn’t keep silence, so i asked her ¿Why?… I realised that she lost a part of the confidence she had in me when she said that people get crazy, impulsive, out of control. I’ve never been that kinda girl. I was angry and sad. I could’t imagine she see me in that way.

But a couple hours later she went to my room, and we talk for an hour. Of everything. I felt like when i was a kid, i missed that.
And i realized that the half of my problems are because the absence of my mother, i need to express myself, to talk with somebody. Just feel so alone sometimes that i prefer to keep my things to myself.

At the end what started like a problem became something helpful. A yes for the casino and a great talk with my mother.

 

For all the parents: 

I know that sometimes can be hard to raise your kids, especially in the teen phase. Nobody ever teach you how to do it. You learn in the way… But sometimes all we need to understand is a simple, quick and reasonable answer. Not a “yes because i said so”.

 

Truth

Philosophy: do we really know what this means? could be a good thing?… maybe we think its bad and boring because nobody explain the real meaning of the word…

Ok, different theme…

Yesterday i finally made some handles for my vanity drawers, with a piece of golden ribbon and two silvery beads… Why didnt i think it before??…
Then spent the whole day tiding up my room, because my boyfriend was suppossed to spent the afternoon with me (since 4 pm apx)… Everything for what? Being together for a couple hours? like literally… We couldnt even finish the movie we were watching…
I cant deny i was a LOT sad, and a little mad because he was late… But at the end of the night i realized that even that little time have made me a happier girl 🙂

My first post

For some strange reason i feel the necessity of writing a diary. I’ve always have tried to make one, but i was too lazy… Well i still am…

Before everything else, i need to make something cleared: i’m from Chile, so i speak in spanish, but i feel that in english i can explain myself better. So please excuse any grammatical mistake. 

I’d like to make this diary to understand myself and everything i do. To show you that i am a regular person just like you, To put my thoughts in paper… well kind of. And even maybe you can tell me what you think.