Why are parents so overprotective?
In my case, we are a single parent family, we are my mother and my 17 year old sister. My father left when i was three, and the last time i saw him was like 7 years ago. Of course that just problems were left.
My mother always taught us to be nice. We didn’t have a bad childhood, she always did the best for us… she still does. I could talk about everything with her, there was so much confidence.
But more than once we had troubles. when i was 15 i was only allowed to go to the grocery store, that was in the same square, and i had to go with my sister. Always at home.
When i wanted to go out, before midnight i had to be at home… i know, so cinderella.
When i started to date (at 15), she allowed me to do more things, and the curfew was extended to 1 AM.
I started a relationship, that i still have. That is the moment when everyone wants to have “THE” talk, and you know everything you need, but nobody seems to realize that your telling the truth when you say: “I Know!!”…
My boyfriend’s family invited me to Monticello (that is one of the casinos in Chile). And here start the troubles: ask my mother for permission.
Strangely she said yes, but of course there was a lot of questions: ¿Who is driving?, ¿Who is driving back?, ¿Who is going?, ¿What time will you come back?…
And then she puts her conditions on the table: you can’t drink, 4:30 AM at home at maximum.
I was kinda confused when she said “I don’t want you to drink anything”. Because the first time i have ever drinked was in my boyfriend’s prom, and it was like 2 glasses. In my prom i didn’t drink at all. And just hardly ever, one small glass if i’m on a friends meeting.
I couldn’t keep silence, so i asked her ¿Why?… I realised that she lost a part of the confidence she had in me when she said that people get crazy, impulsive, out of control. I’ve never been that kinda girl. I was angry and sad. I could’t imagine she see me in that way.
But a couple hours later she went to my room, and we talk for an hour. Of everything. I felt like when i was a kid, i missed that.
And i realized that the half of my problems are because the absence of my mother, i need to express myself, to talk with somebody. Just feel so alone sometimes that i prefer to keep my things to myself.
At the end what started like a problem became something helpful. A yes for the casino and a great talk with my mother.
For all the parents:
I know that sometimes can be hard to raise your kids, especially in the teen phase. Nobody ever teach you how to do it. You learn in the way… But sometimes all we need to understand is a simple, quick and reasonable answer. Not a “yes because i said so”.